Sunday, June 18, 2006

64 Remixed

'64' Remixed: A Birthday Present for The Future

Today, Sir Paul McCartney turns 64. It is a condition that he imagined incorrectly when, more than 40 years ago, he wrote "When I'm 64," beginning with the memorable lines: "When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now."

Sir Paul, with a full head of hair, is marking the occasion by shuttling among his lavish city, shore and rural properties, getting over the breakup of his marriage to a 38-year-old model.

Even for the rest of us, aging is not what it used to be. Forty-year-old sexpots from "Desperate Housewives" now appear on the cover of People magazine proclaiming that "40 is the new 30." It is no longer novel when great-grandparents blithely announce they are about to walk the Great Wall of China, saying "80 is the new 60."

What could Paul have been thinking?

Doing the garden, digging the weeds,

Who could ask for more?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me,

When I'm 64?

McCartney's anthem to antiquity needs a rewrite. We propose the following as a scenario for 40 years from now.

As I get younger, Rogaine my hair,

Many years from now.

Will you still be ogling my Viagra stash,

Vintage T-shirts, old hippie hash?

If memory drugs fail and I can't find home,

Will you lock the door?

Will you still see me, will I still be me,

When I'm 104?

The fountain of youth has finally arrived,

Ain't technology grand?

You can surf and ski and run your marathon,

If you find sky-diving a yawn.

Botox for wrinkles, lipo for sag,

Who could ask for more?

Will you still see me, will I still be me,

When I'm 104?

Every summer we can rent a villa on the coast of Spain

Let the young folks pay.

We shall hoard our stocks.

Great-grandchildren on your knee,

Vera, Chuck and whatshisname.

Send me an e-mail, crank up your blog,

Stating point of view.

Tell me how your mutual funds are gaining ground,

Social Security -- it's still around.

Praise now that buyout, 401K,

Mine forevermore.

Will you still see me, will I still be me,

When I'm 104.


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